The Fatherland, and the Borderland to the Fatherland

An eventful couple of weeks and a couple of great getaways to close out my annual leave for the year at the half way mark.  Basically I thought I would move back to Oz at the end of the year so front loaded my leave... then decided I wouldn’t move home, so now have no leave!

Anyhow it started with me flying to the fatherland; Italy, to surprise mum and dad the second weekend in June. I hadn’t had the opportunity in my life to date to see my dad interact with many of his cousins, and none of his male ones, even though I myself had had the privilege of meeting them a couple of occasions prior, it has never been all together.

On Nonna’s side there is one particular that looks a fair bit like Lino and he is a massive joker like dad so I was super keen to see them all together. It was great too to surprise mum as I had joked I was going over but then I told her I couldn’t make it as it meant that I would miss my flatty’s 30^th. But all good Patty understood how cool the experience would be and this also gives us the opportunity now to keep the party going on until next month when I take Patty out for her birthday dinner! I spent my days in Italy starting early on the spritz’s early with Cugina’s at a local wine bar. We went there every morning just before noon, spent the day there socialising, enjoying a 'lock-in' during siesta too which was great fun. I was also very pleased to see Maria’s cugina Barbara too, who as per usual, made me

La Familia

feel very welcome.

It was fab to see everyone a year on, Zoe had grown up so much. At one stage she got very animated and disappointed when she found out I wasn't staying at her house this time and i was staying at a hotel as she thought it was because I didn't like them or the house, bless!!

Our dinner party in the twelve disciple tent at Giordano's was just lots of wine and plates and plates of prosciutto and the leaving lunch BBQ at Mauro's were my highlights as they basically involved stacks of meat. To give a quick synopsis of Bortolin/ Feletto family history - half my dad's mum's side (the Feletto's) went to Argentina, and dad's cousin Mauro is now back living in Italy. He is an Italian baker brought up in Argentina, so he is the best cook in the world - cue BBQ photo now!

Meat!

Dad w/ Mauro & Giordano

After another emo goodbye with the fam bam, I had a working week before taking off on Friday to fly to Split Croatia for the sail. Jimmy – Alice’s little brother had been staying in London and was also on the sailing trip, and as he was out getting lucky the night before the departure and I got stuck with some awful tube strike at home, I sent him out on a mission to get our lunch kebabs so I could maximise my working from home the Friday rather than waste time getting food. (That and the kebab guys now have seen so much of me not only do they remember my order by heart - but I’ve bulked on the KG’s.) Jimmy described me as 'podgy', whilst dad described me as 'fat' he caveated it by saying that it's because I always call him fat, which I cannot honestly recall. Thanks guys.

La Cuginas

And so, we jetted off from Gatwick on an A320 Croatian Airlines plane. It was quite hilarious when I said to Jim; I just wish they would just give out Olives that would be the best meal because I love green olives. It was like the Croatian airline God's were listening because next thing you know, the meal tray comes along and there were cheese and olives. My Italiano self was loving life. Jimmy was super gentleman and saw me salivating, so saved me some of his olives even though he was starving!

We arrived in Split, Croatia quite late so we got a transfer to our fabulous apartment and went out for dinner. Dinner was tiring, those Croats took their time. Jimmy trying to be posh ordered the cloggiest pasta I’ve even seen. It was basically cheese and cream.

Waking up the next day we headed off to have a chill morning, walk around, see some Game of Thrones shit and then meet the girls around midday. So on the boat there was Jimmy, Me and my mate Nicole, and Nicole’s mates. Although they are really nice people, they like me, have big personalities and are quite opinionated so often we clashed (surprise surprise). There was one random on our boat – nicknamed Gator *or Spider sometimes for me as he looked like Boom Boom’s old housemate Spider, and a sick skipper called Toby – who doesn’t quite meet my minimum requirements for half my age plus seven.

Our Boat

We arrived at the boat, had our meet and greet and then went to buy booze and floaties, the staple for a week at sea. It was at the store that I first used my initiative to buy the display donut floaty as I was dreaded to blow that thing up with my crappy lungs. I was stoked when the lady at the shop let me have him and set the precedent for Gator buying his Gator blown up also. The first day of the sail was awesome. I love being on the boat. It’s my fav place. Second to my niece, I miss the beach and ocean the most; especially Torquay my fav place (Australia and not UK). I just love the freedom I feel there, and that’s exactly how I feel on the catamaran, (though I probably felt it more on the 58 ft catamaran we had in Turkey as opposed to the 48 ft one or whatever it was we were now on!).

The days were spent tanning, the nights were spent partying. My favourite thing is to wake up with a hangover and dive in to the ocean. The only thing better is to wake up without a hangover J Poor Toby was sick the first few days so was in pretty poor form, he was well impressed catering for a glutard, one vegan that was lactose intolerant and two fake vegetarian/ vegans! Jimmy was in love instantly with Gator, and then dumped him and exchanged his man love for Gator for a blonde skipper named Harry.

Skipper Toby & I

The scenery in Croatia was awesome. The food was exceptional, I literally cannot count the amount of times I ate grilled squid. Second night in Hvar, it was bloody awesome. We peaked early and had a ridiculous speed boat ride back to the marina in an intense storm. There were chicks freaking out telling us not to use our mobiles, but really apart from getting entirely drenched, it was exhilarating counting the time between the thunder and lightning.

The third night in Jimmy had a big night. In fact we lost him, and I was super paranoid that Alice (Jimmy’s elder sister) would crack it at me for losing her little brother. I think the paranoia was what led me to set the alarm for 7am so I could go and look for him if he didn’t make it back to the boat. He rolled in at 6am; having passed out in some seedy laneway probably... thankfully he was in one piece and not chopped up like my nightmare, so Alice and I are still friends. 

The next day was the roughest, the whole day I spent at the front of the boat- trying not to vomit. I was super jealous Jimmy was passed out all day. Dinner though i can't remember, was most probably grilled quid, the staple for my time in Croatia. The next morning we got up and I was in some of my best form on the paddle board on the back of the boat, in a crystal blue lagoon when a speedboat from a super yacht came past. I was yelling out “Ice Cream” and they came up and were like “sorry, what did you say?” to which I replied “I would really love some ice cream” before they said they would bring soft drink to my disappointment and left back to shore. We had an amazing lunch from the now recovered but still sulky Toby, and had just pulled up anchor to leave when the speedboat returned waving their arms for us to stop. They then proceeded to hand me a plastic bag (whilst concurrently trying to lift me on to their speed boat!) I ended up trading a kiss on the cheek for the full plastic bag, great choice cos when I opened the bag I found two bottles of wine and some soft drinks! Whoop whoop! That night i obviously won sailor of the day. It was hard not to beat me scabbing gifts for the boat from strangers. 

Jimmy & I

The final night on the boat, just before heading out I was just walking over the net, and sprained my ankle. Thankfully we had some first aiders who tied an ice bag around it and I was on my way out and about. That night was eventful, I went out, came back to the boat, and decided it was too boring to head to sleep, so went back out. By the time I got back, Nic and I had had a gut full (literally) and had a tiff, then the next minute we’d made up and she decided to tell Jimmy to sleep elsewhere cos she was sleeping with me, then she came in to the room said good night and slept on the deck! So I scored the last night sleeping on my own. We did have a little expedition to an undisclosed boat to drop off a mobile phone to remove evidence that person had been on our boat too.

Our final day on the boat was spent flashing the boats enroute to docking in Dubrovnik and doing flips in Dubrovnik port. Again I had to tip the skipper big as I’d been a massive creep most of the trip –despite the fact he was 20 and didn’t meet my half age + 7 year minimum (Look out Toby in three years’ time!) and for compensation for seeing more of mine and Nicole’s nipples than he saw other boats.

Jimmy and I checked in to our other amazing air bnb and both had really long showers. We piked early and decided to save our energy for a massive explore on our final day in Dubrovnik.  After heading to the beach at Dubrovnik for two milkshakes and a dip, we were delighted to catch the Cats game after scamming some nearby Wi-Fi and met fellow boaties – our famous beat boxing mates

Squid

The Steps where we spent half a day

from WA with whom Jimmy had a beat box off the night before and might I say I was a very proud guardian as he very much stood his own, just wish i could find the vid to post!

We spent most of the final day trekking the walls with my injury, which was hard work and the remainder of the day sitting on steps, whilst Jimmy filled out his travel journal and I snoozed and people watched. My last supper was seafood gnocchi.

Our transfer back to the airport was bitter sweet, obviously we were leaving a great place, I was saying farewell to Jim too to continue his adventures elsewhere in Europe, but Nicole had found love with the transfer driver, though he wasn’t quite old enough.. See we have different age criteria us two, the range of difference being circa 25 years!!! I'm sure we will go back as we promised. It as my second time in Croatia, and each day was still breathtaking. 

Special couple of weeks in the fatherland and the border to the fatherland.